It’s hard to tell whether CM Punk was born of the wrong era, or if he came along at precisely the right time.
On one hand, his brash demeanor, tattoos and conversational promo skills would have fit right in during WWE’s late 90s Attitude Era. It’s quite easy to imagine Punk engaging in memorable (and profitable) feuds with the likes of Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, HHH and The Undertaker, among many other stars from that era.
On the other hand, perhaps Punk is best suited to shine as a lone wolf in professional wrestling’s modern-day, toned-down, PG-rated era, where “superstars” (i.e., politically correct merchandise movers) like John Cena, Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio curry more favor than do malcontents like Punk. In 2011, Punk’s rebellious tone, “voice of the voiceless” mantra, and underdog backstory have fused together to create what is unquestionably wrestling’s biggest “lightning in a bottle” movement since Austin captivated viewers more than a decade ago with his brash, no-nonsense style. In fact, Punk is appealing to those very same fans, many of whom moved on from WWE when Attitude Era stars like Austin and Rock exited stage left.
The Summer of Punk culminates on Sunday night, August 14, when Punk and Cena square off in the main event at SummerSlam, emanating from the Staples Center in Los Angeles. You know the story. Punk rode a wave of momentum and epic promos to a thrilling championship victory over Cena at last month’s Money in the Bank pay-per-view, then took the belt with him out the door as his contract expired. Vince McMahon, who was later “relieved of his duties” in favor of son-in-law HHH, instituted a WWE title tournament to replace the departed Punk. Cena won this tournament. Punk returned, having gone on a two-week guerilla campaign in his time away, claiming to still be the rightful champ. Enter a title unification bout at SummerSlam, with HHH (now WWE’s storyline Chief Operating Officer) as the special guest referee.
The buildup to this bout has been textbook. Both Punk and Cena have starred in their respective roles—Punk as the lifelong underdog who came up on the independent scene and values championships over merchandise sales and wrestling over sports entertainment; Cena the corporate face who moves more merchandise than any wrestler in the game today. They have torn down the “fourth wall”—code for what goes on behind the scenes in professional wrestling—and have referenced previous real-life confrontations, fired wrestlers, corporate cronies, wives, girlfriends. the list goes on.
This dichotomy has created a unique conundrum heading into one of the most hotly anticipated WWE matches in the last decade—there is no clear-cut babyface, nor is there a clear-cut heel/villain. Cena, who appeals to women and children, is loathed by teenage boys and men who view him as a corporate puppet. Punk, meanwhile, has sparked a cult-like movement among males age 18-34 while eliciting a negative reaction from younger fans.
How will it all go down on Sunday night? I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t want to. Punk has been steadfast in his opinion that marks and online know-it-alls should just enjoy the ride and let the storyline unfold, and I’m prone to agree. Whether the Punk-Cena feud extends beyond SummerSlam and into the fall is uncertain.
Whether it’s helped breathe life into a stale product by showcasing two of the game’s top talents in their respective primes, meanwhile, is a certainty.
From bland superstars like Andre Johnson and Arian Foster to their cookie-cutter stadium to the fact that Texans gameday feels exactly as you think it would (right down to the crowd chanting predictabilities in unison), there are no surprises with the Texans, no “wow” factor. That includes the annual inevitability that is the Texans’ disappointing record.
That leaves five teams vying for status of “uprisers,” including the aforementioned Texans. Here is why the other four won’t get there in 2011.
*Get a smartphone. iPhone. Droid. BlackBerry. Doesn’t matter. Get something portable with a dependable 3G signal and sports-friendly apps (I recommend Yahoo! Sportacular) that deliver timely score updates. That way, when you find yourself eating that second slice of cake at a child’s birthday party (red velvet rocks), or taking in the enjoyment (misery) that is a couple’s baby shower, you’ll be prepared should this event conflict with the big game. Speaking of which, be prepared for all of these events to conflict with the big game. The karmic gods are sadistic that way.
10. Ray Lewis, LB, Baltimore Ravens: Yeah, Ray has lost a step. In fact, he’s probably only the third or fourth best player on his own defense at this point. That said, if it goes down, give me someone such as Ray-Ray, a wily vet with a noted mean streak, a ripped physique, unmatched intensity and an innate leadership quality. Plus, tell me
9. Zdeno Chara, Defenseman, Boston Bruins: I don’t pretend to know much about hockey, but I do know that anytime a guy
8. Clay Matthews, Linebacker, Green Bay Packers.
7. Manny Pacquiao, Boxer/Politician: The reasoning for this is simple … boxing is a sport in which success is measured by one’s ability to pummel his opponent into submission with his fists. No one in the world does this better than “Pac-Man.” Let’s move on.
6. The Undertaker, Professional Wrestler/Dead Man: Think it’s fake, huh? Try telling that to this 7-foot, 300-plus-pound Houstonian behemoth who, by the way, also trains in mixed martial arts. Plus, his 19-0 record at WrestleMania is professional wrestling’s 56-game hitting streak.
5. Kobe Bryant, Guard, Los Angeles Lakers: He’s not intimidating in terms of pure physical force, but Bryant’s intensity, work ethic and will to prevail on the court are second only to one Michael Jordan. Personally, that frightens me, if only because it indicates that Kobe is the type to sneak a shiv into a fists-only streetfight.
4. Albert Pujols, First Baseman, St. Louis Cardinals: By all accounts a good guy on and off the diamond, Pujols nonetheless looks like the meanest bouncer at the bar, the guy who spent all day working out in the hopes of inciting a riot later that night. His muscles have muscles. Hell,
3. Brock Lesnar, UFC Heavyweight/Ill-Tempered Minnesotan: No, Brock Lesnar is not an elite UFC competitor, at least not on par with the Anderson Silvas of the cage fighting world. That said,
2. Ron Artest (aka Metta World Peace), Forward/Resident Lunatic, Los Angeles Lakers: The eyes don’t lie. Whether it’s that formerly-crazy girlfriend who alleges to have changed her ways, or a former
1. James Harrison, Linebacker/Gun Enthusiast/Disgruntled NFL Employee, Pittsburgh Steelers: Easy call. Harrison is a 6-foot, 250-pound, mean-spirited, hard-hitting, gun-toting madman. A former Defensive Player of the Year,
Punk followed
It’s all an act, part of a grand tale tailored to move merchandise, sell pay-per-views and increase hits on the WWE website. It’s also based in reality, something WWE has largely avoided since superstars like Austin, The Rock, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels rose to prominence, essentially, by playing themselves on camera.
That is, until Monday, June 27, when Punk changed the course of his character and, temporarily at least, the professional wrestling landscape, with a pitch-perfect promo that highlighted WWE’s ills, his frustrations with the behind-the-scenes politics and the fact that the organization now favors “superstars” over actual “wrestlers.” Gone was the character Punk had been portraying for the past few years. On display was the raw emotion brought forth by a man who knew he—and WWE’s paying customers—deserved better.